Have you stopped to consider how your habits and hurts bring so much pain to your life? Much of the pain caused by these two success robbers are subconscious and psychological. Some pain caused by your hurts and habits can be affecting other members of your sphere of influence!
Often you take the attitude, “It’s my life. I’m hurting no one else. The rest can just go to hell as far as I’m concerned!”
What about your:
Your children are directly affected by your habits and hurts especially if these are chemical by nature.
- money you spend causes a deficit budget
- time you aren’t really there for them
- they monitor your actions
- the children compete for your love
- can put their lives in danger
All habits and hobbies are expensive. The toys we own and using them costs time, too. Your time spent playing racquetball, bowling or other sports is time away from your family. The exercise and fun are great, but your children are missing out on a major part of your life. Are your habits worth it?
Children Think You Don’t Care
When you spend your time down at the bar or partying most of the night, your children think you don’t care for them. They think that there is competition for your love. Often, your children will act out in school or in the neighborhood or at home in an effort to get the attention they want from you. They feel that they are competing for your love and time.
Your habits and hurts cause much tension among your family members and friends. They never know which mom or dad is or is not coming home to them. One night dad comes home right after work. He eats dinner with the kids. He helps with homework. He gets them ready for bed. The next night(s) he isn’t seen. The kids wonder where he is. They compute his absences as a lack of love for them.
Mom then has to explain! First, it isn’t fair to her. Second, the kids soon learn that she is covering up for dads habits. Yes, they know where dad is and what he is doing. They hear you and mom arguing about your absence, and once again, they think it is their fault.
Children Feel They Are to Blame
Every teenager that I have talked with over the years think that they caused the problems in their families. Even though they have had nothing to do with the parents habits and hurts, they still feel responsible. That’s a heavy weight for them to carry.
They say things such as, “If I didn’t get into trouble so much, dad would be home all the time.” Or, “It’s my fault that mom has to work two jobs.”
Your Habit or Hurt Is Primary
Your habits and hurts are your top priority. Noting can stand in the way of them. Your career, your children or your spouse can compete for the attention you give to your habits and hurts. Alcohol or drugs take lots of time.
- you have to locate the substance
- if it is illegal, you run the risk of getting caught
- you will participate before anything else in your life
- you might say to your spouse, “I don’t care, I’m going to do _____________
Regardless of the habit or hurt, it consumes you! You spend most of your waking moments doing, thinking about, planning you means or hiding from both of these culprits that have gained power in your life.
Your Career Is Affected
You didn’t get the promotion of which you knew you were more than qualified. You think it is because the one who did land the job was always sucking up to the boss. You can’t pinpoint the reasons why you weren’t selected, and you never blame your habit or hurt for keeping you back. It’s always someone or something else not your habit or hurt. You are killing your dreams and won’t admit it!
How Do I Quit
Subconsciously, and usually after you have completed your habit, you ask yourself, “How do I quit?”
Often, you may cry yourself to sleep because you want out so badly. You don’t tell anyone else about these thoughts. You don’t want anyone to know you are hurt, miserable and making huge mistakes with your habits.
Quitting some habits is easy. You simply walk away. You realize that you are spending far too much time bowling, racquetball or some other sport. So you quit!
However, walking away from a chemical problem is different. Your habit has become your lover, and she doesn’t want to let you go. She has a hold on you that is so difficult to break loose of.
How do you quit?
- You must make a quality decision
- Then you need help
- You need a support person or team
- You must stay strong
- You have to get away from the old gang
- It takes a major change in attitude
Another way to quit is to get involved in a recovery program. A program that you spend six-months to a year in. However, if you can’t afford to miss work or pay the entry fee, we offer an online course called Choosing Recovery that can help you deal with your habits, mistakes, miseries and bad memories. ==> For Your Recovery Go here to get your free, online course.
Let me know if there is anything else you want to know or if you have questions. I’ll get back with you soon.